October 21, 2009

For years I never thought I’d get married, much less become a mother. But I met my husband at age 36 and the last three years have heralded a lot of change in my life. It was a quick road to marriage and motherhood—but I wouldn’t have it any other way.

My husband (aka Dude on this blog) and I met on the dating website JDate in October of 2006. Within months it was serious and I moved in with him in November 2007—he proposed that very same day. Since we were older (and it was his 2nd marriage) we had a short engagement and married June 22, 2008 (at 38 and 37). We decided to try for a family right away and we were thrilled that I conceived within 5 months. After a thankfully smooth pregnancy, Little Man was born on August 14, 2009.

Since neither Dude or I have well-paying jobs and because we rent our apartment, we made the decision to go the “one and done” route.  Little Man will be an only child—not counting our dog, Wonder Dog (not his actual name).

I get a lot of comments about that. Most people think that Little Man will miss out on having siblings. But my husband and I want to be able to give him—and us—a better life. We want to be able to own a home one day. We want to be able to take family vacations. We want to save for Little Man’s future. So thus the title of this blog. I’m a mom of one—and I’m done!

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9 Responses to “About Me and My Blog”

  1. NHScoutMom Says:

    Those who say being an only child will deprive him are ridiculous. Little Man will be fine. He will have friends… he has cousins and your friends kids to play with too. You’re being realistic in your decision and not doing more than you can do… that is the smart choice. Having three or four kids just because you want them and think it’d be better for little guy… just is irresponsible!

  2. Lina Says:

    Good for you on standing up for your decision! I am almost in the same boat as you as far as our age and only wanting one child. (our kids were only born 2 days apart too, lol) Unfortunately the father is not in the picture (or maybe that’s fortunately?) I never wanted more than one…I’ve seen lots of children grow up just fine being an only child. And actually, they seem more attached and respectful of their parents and personally I think that is because the parents are not preoccupied with more than one. They have been able to devote all of themselves to this one little person 🙂 That’s just my theory. Good luck with your little man!! 🙂

  3. Jen Says:

    My daughter has recently been diagnosed with Torticollis and may have to get a helmet. I have been feeling so sad and alone about this lately. I decided to google ‘blogs about torticollis’ and yours was the first one to pop up. Thank you for sharing your story and for making me feel like we are not the only ones going through this! I will be a regular visitor from now on!!!
    Jen
    Mpls, MN

    1. sweetnjmom Says:

      Jen, I’m glad that my blog helped you in some way. Honestly, I was inconsolable at first. I sobbed in the shower and felt like the worst mother ever. I LET my son sleep in his infant carrier (car seat) for hours on end so I could sleep myself. But then I realized that I didn’t cause the Torticollis and that, perhaps, some babies are predisposed for head flattening. In fact, my son’s flatness got WORSE over the last two months (from his initial diagnosis) and my pediatrician said it would “round out” on its own. Sorry, doctor, but that rarely happens with Brachycephaly.

      There are supports groups for both Torticollis and Plagiocephaly on Baby Center’s website. And there are also Yahoo Groups for both. Here are the links:

      http://community.babycenter.com/groups/a52465/plagiocephaly_support?
      http://community.babycenter.com/groups/a6688845/torticollisplagiocephaly_support (Not much activity here)
      http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/Plagiocephaly/
      http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/Torticolliskids/

      I hope that you check them out. They’re a wealth of information. Best to your daughter and to you.

  4. Lynne Says:

    Hi SweetNJMom, I messaged you on the Bump. My daughter is probably going to need a helmet as well. Thank you so much for sharing your story. It is so helpful. I am not even sure if we are going through this process in the right way. Where in NJ are you? I feel like I can relate to you so much as I am also an older mother (just turned 39) and my daughter is going through this and I am from NJ. Again thank you for your wonderful blog.

    1. sweetnjmom Says:

      I’ll reply to your message there–and via email with info on where I am from (not too comfy sharing that on my blog). And I’m glad my blog has helped in any way. I just tend to write as I think. I’m never so eloquent in my speech. And the helmet isn’t that bad–it’s just EXPENSIVE. Hopefully your insurance will cover the DOC Band. Mine would have covered another type, but I wasn’t so impressed with them and paid out of pocket.

  5. Malia Says:

    I am grateful to find a One and Done Blog like yours-and like you we have similar reasonings. My FI and I simple feel like we can provide a better life (a home, food, trips to Disneyland/World, College, etc) for one that we could for two. I have made it a point to be involved in Mom’s Groups so that hopefully I can make some friends with little ones my sons age which will allow him to grow up with other kids, similar to siblings. It is not an easy decision, but it is the one we have made and are strong in.


  6. Hi! I popped over here from BabyCenter (I saw your blog signature in a comment you left on one of my posts). I will be following your site, since my baby boy has tort. My husband’s family calls him “Dude” and my parents call my boy “Little Man” also. The jury’s still out on whether or not we will have another child. I had a rough labor/delivery (emergency C-section due to baby’s head position), a trip to the NICU for two extra days on the day we were supposed to go home, torticollis and I just don’t know if I can handle all that worry again.

    Anyway, glad I found your site!

  7. Linda Says:

    Don’t worry about having just one child. I’m an only child and I have no way to miss what I never knew or had. My life is full, I have a husband, 2 grown children, 4 grandchildren, and a job that keeps me very busy. When my parents passed away I didn’t have to endure the fighting over assets. And my husband and his sister have not spoken in over 30 years (why? he won’t say) so I wouldn’t worry about having an only child. You can relax and have more to do and spend on and for your son. College is expensive, designer sneakers are expensive. I’m not saying things over people, but wait until your son is a teen and then heading for college, kids get very expensive then.

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