June 2011

I’m sitting on the sofa, next to my husband and my sleeping dog and I think how much I love them both.  And it’s funny how I am not really discriminating. Casey is a dog.  But he is MY dog and my first “baby.”  He’s very annoying at times. Ever since I had Little Man, he’s been needy—even when I pay attention to him—and he’s acted out by stealing food and barking.  But I adore him and lately, watching him slow down, I realize how much my heart will ache when he is no longer with me.

Hopefully he’ll be around for a few more years.  I’d like Little Man to have memories of him.  Heck, I’d like Little Man to call him Casey and not just “Da Daw” (the dog).  But I do worry how it will affect him.  My friend’s daughter still feels the effect of losing her dog at a similar age (almost 3) and she is 5-1/2.  And I know I should get these thoughts out of my head since he IS healthy. But I guess I realize that I’ve had him for nearly 11 years now and he’s almost 12 years old.

I hate that I snap at my dog.  He’s a DOG.  He doesn’t know how annoying he can be when he’s underfoot or barking up a storm or nudging me for food.  I guess it’s because I’m under a lot of stress from caring for Little Man, trying to be a good wife and help out my parents. I lash out at the one being who TRULY loves me unconditionally.

I’m a dog person.  One day I’ll have another dog—because I can’t count my brother’s dogs (formerly my in-laws’ dogs)—that is MINE (and I guess my husband’s too) but for now Casey is my only furchild and I adore him.  I loved my husband’s late dog, who died when I was newly pregnant, and my heart broke for him when she died at the age of 15 (with him for the last 10 years). But for now I have to figure out how to just be calmer around mine since I do adore him.  He is such a sweet, fun dog—even if he IS neurotic.

He is.

But that’s another story.

I know my kid isn’t the only one.  I have several friends, both online and in person, who comment how their 2-year-old (or older/younger) is flipping through apps on their iPhone or iPad. Obviously it’s common or why else would all these developers make apps for toddlers?  But it’s also kind of crazy how tech-savvy today’s toddlers are.

Little Man doesn’t really say much but he does know “on” and “off” and can name basically every character in The Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and Dora the Explorer cartoons.  He says map and bappap (backpack) and Mou and MeeMee and Dasiy and Duck Duck.  I’ve mentioned that I allow him to watch TV and have admitted that I feel I let him watch too much. But it keeps him busy while he’s at work with me (my not-so-ideal situation) and it cannot be helped right now.

I actually made my iPod Touch toddler friendly. Basically Little Man has free reign with it.  Though if there is no Wi-Fi available, he gets mad when he can’t get his apps to work. I’ve created a monster!

I guess that’s it for now. I’m trying to get back into the groove of blogging.  I like writing and maybe one day I’ll be more attentive to this site.  I’ve considered returning to another blog site (with nice follower links) but then I’d have to figure out how to move this one. Not gonna happen anytime soon.

I fully admit that I’m slacking on the veggie front. Little Man only eats peas. Frozen peas. Not fresh because I’m a lazy ass who hasn’t bought fresh vegetables for my son. He used to eat vegetable purees and LOVED sweet potatoes. But since he started self-feeding, he has eschewed all vegetables for unhealthy alternatives like potato chips and french fries.

I know it’s my fault for not offering him better meal choices and I want to change that. But how? And with what? How do I introduce new foods to my nearly-two-year-old? How do I undo what I have done? Will he ever eat well?

And don’t even get me started on milk.  He LOVED milk when he first tried it and when it was in a bottle. But when we cold-turkeyed the bottle for sippy cups he refused to drink milk in it. I feel badly that he won’t drink it. And it’s not that he doesn’t like the taste. I think it’s the consistency. I’m going to have to try flavoring it again. I really want him to drink something besides water.  Not that he needs the empty calories of juice, but it would be nice if he’d try it.

Since he’s growing and thriving, I shouldn’t worry TOO much. I know of children who survived on pasta with butter for years and he eats better than that. Little Man likes chicken. Loves potato. Loves macaroni & cheese. But my goal is to expand his diet. I just need to come up with a menu and purchase the foods.

Joy is seeing your child’s face light up when he sees you.

Joy is hearing him say “Mama, ___” when he wants to share something with you.

Joy is the cuddles you get from your loving son.

Joy is knowing you are doing SOMETHING right in your life.

Joy is watching your little one discover how something works.

This is me and my pride and joy!