When the whole Charlie Sheen meltdown was happening and when the Bronx Zoo Cobra had “escaped,” I decided to finally become a twit and join Twitter.  I chose the same screen name there as I have here: sweetnjmom. I’d like to think I’m sweet and I am a mom from NJ.  I’m not that creative.   The reason I mention this is because of my profile there. It says:

I’m a busy mom who is taking care of my toddler son, my hard-working husband, my neurotic dog and my disabled parents and trying to find the time to do it all.

It’s pretty true. I’m trying to find a way to do it all.

My dad is technically disabled. He needs his right hip and both knees replaced. I think once that’s done, he’ll be in pretty good shape for a (soon-to-be) 69-year-old man. But, for now, he uses a walker and a cane and is in excruciating pain from his damaged hip and bum knees.

My mom has Parkinson’s Disease and an Orthostatic Tremor. Two separate neurological conditions. She is also extremely depressed. Because this is a public blog, I won’t go any further. But she doesn’t really care for herself and she doesn’t let my father or me help care for her. It’s so hard when someone you love is hurting.

Add to the mix taking care of my toddler son and keeping up with his therapies through Early Intervention, I’m feeling very overwhelmed by it all.  Little Man is actually progressing quite well and his DI therapist is extremely optimistic about his progress. His speech therapist has only seen him twice, but has also noted his progress. So I’m feeling more positive about everything and I’m seeing a subtle change in his behavior already. He rebounds from tantrums more quickly. They’re less intense. Less frequent. And shorter, too.

So I feel like I’m always in the middle and never getting anywhere.  And there are other family relationships that are complex and that leave me feeling like I can do no right. Finding a balance between being a mom, daughter, sister, wife and friend is not easy. I really hope there is a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow or a light at the end of the tunnel. Because I’m feeling like I’m on a never-ending road, or going round and round in circles. I need a break.

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