This blog post is pretty much a copy and paste job from my former blog that I wrote on October 16th, two days after Little Man’s two month well baby visit to the pediatrician. It’s quite relevant to this blog as it deals with mommyhood and the ups and downs of one’s child’s health. That’s all anyone can hope for—health. And I have to say that even though I had a very emotional day then, I am so grateful that my son is healthy and his issues are treatable.

This is what I wrote:

Little Man is two months old.  He went for his well baby visit at the pediatrician on Wednesday afternoon and while overall he’s very healthy and doing very well for his age, there was some “not-so-good” news.

First with the good stuff.  He’s healthy. He’s thriving.

At birth he weighed 9 lb and was 20.5 inches long.

Now he’s 13 lb 8 oz and 23 inches long.

That’s 90th percentile for weight and 50th for height. I asked if I should be concerned about the disparity (ie. weight) and was told at this age it’s not an issue. He’s not overly chubby, so I guess he’s just SOLID. My coworker calls him “Bruiser” and I often do, too. He’s just a strong baby.

He’s meeting milestones. He smiles, he laughs, he’s a happy baby, really. And he only cries when hungry, wet/messy diaper and when wants to be held. All normal and to be expected for two months.

But there was some “not-so-good” news, too. I’ll start with the most minor one.

Little Man has an umbilical hernia, which apparently is very common in babies and most times close up by the time they turn one.  I was told not to be concerned about this.

Next is the  Hydrocele he was born with. It hasn’t gotten smaller since he was around two weeks old and the pediatrician wants Little Man to have a testicular ultrasound to make sure it IS a Hydrocele and not a hernia and also to make sure all is OK. If this doesn’t recede on its own, he’ll need to see a Pediatric Urologist and could possibly need surgery. I’ve known about this issue since his birth.

Fine. But I’m having problems finding a facility that’s IN-NETWORK for my insurance that does this on babies. If I go in-network, it’s covered at 100%. Otherwise we pay out of pocket since we have a $5000 family deductible. So I’m doing some research and trying to find a place to get this done. I do know of a Pediatric Urologist, however, if he does need to see one.

Lastly are two related issues. My son has a something called Torticollis (a condition in which a tight or shortened muscle on one side of the neck causes the head to tilt to one side) and also  positional plagiocephaly, or flat head, which is due to babies spending so much time on their backs. It’s also most common in infants who have Torticollis.

Since a small percent of babies born with torticollis will also have other problems such as hip dislocation, Little Man is also getting a hip ultrasound at the same time he’s having the testicular one.

Basically Little Man needs physical therapy to correct the Torticollis. And hopefully the PT will strengthen his neck muscles and that, along with MUCH more tummy time, will correct the flat head. I’m praying for that… I don’t want him to need to wear a helmet or, worse, have a permanently misshapen head! But my pediatrician said we caught both conditions early enough and I hope she’s right.

I’d been having terrible guilt about the flat head until I read that it’s related to the Torticollis, which I had no control over. But I had a bit of a breakdown yesterday. I literally SOBBED in the shower. Part of it was due to my son’s issues and the rest was due to lack of sleep—as he also got his shots and did NOT sleep on Wednesday night (thus nor did I).

Motherhood is SO hard. And while I knew it would be, the reality is somewhat overwhelming. And I often get comments like “get used to it” re: the lack of sleep. But I’m sorry, I don’t function well on the limited sleep and it’s taking its toll.

But I wouldn’t trade it for anything. I absolutely adore my little boy and am so grateful he’s here and—despite his “not-so-good” issues—is healthy.